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And she thought I was a master of our craft (another one I had fooled). She had a collection of waifs and strays for support staff, mostly little mousy types of no particular gender, with an occasional built-for-comfort mama type. The lawyers who worked for her were obvious butch types who would have been the ‘affirmative action look how liberal we are’ mannequins in any other firm. They were good, though, they knew their stuff, and stood up to the chauvinists and morons who form too large a part of our craft’s population, to say nothing of our ever-to-be-esteemed judiciary. Her junior law partner (not her lover, who was a rather tall, giraffe-like lady whose primary function seemed to be neglected spouse, with dog-walker and housemaid thrown in) was Maria. Maria was special. Everyone knew Maria was the real wheelhorse of the firm. She put in the 19-hour days, skipped weekends and family, dealt with the obstreperous clients and even more obstreperous adversaries. She was so. I was becoming a little annoyed with her and said, “I really think this skirt will work out.” At that point the sales lady, her nameplate said Gail, walked to the skirt I was looking at and saw it was a large. “What is your sister’s waist size? This is a large. If you’re not careful you may make her think that you think she’s fat!” She said with a chuckle. I really wanted to get the hell out of there at that point. “She’s about a 34 or 36 inch waist, and about 5’6”, I think.” “Oh, so she’s roughly about your size? That’s handy.” She said that turning toward the skirt with the type of look and smile of someone who’s just busted me. I leveled with her to get the skirt with the least amount of problems. “Ok, actually she’s exactly my size because I lost a dumb bet and have to go to a costume party wearing women’s clothes.” She looked at me and said “Ok, well this stuff might be a little nice to buy for just one party, let’s see what we have on our clearance rack.” She.
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